An important aspect of our human life is meeting our needs. I really didn’t think much of this topic when I first heard it. But in the meantime, I have seen how important meeting our needs are and how this relates to creating a state of happiness in a really easy way. Meeting your needs doesn’t have to be difficult, but we do have to become aware of what our needs are so that we can go and meet them. Simply meeting a friend to talk to, can instantly increase your state of happiness.


We are human beings and our biology works in a specific way. When we do things that are against our natural biology we naturally don’t feel good. When we do things in favor of our biology we naturally feel good. So, needs are in our biology and we can’t not meet them. I thought needs were things like food, water, a shower, working for money and roof above your head. Which are still needs, but we also have physical needs, mental needs, emotional needs. We have the need to be seen, felt, heard, understand and many more.


Physical touch is a human need. You can actually be touch deprived! It’s an actual thing. So, I know some of you are thinking about sex right now. But a simple touch on the arm, shoulder, a kiss on the forehead or a hug are a way to meet the need for physical touch. Connection is actually the primary basic human need there is. Even before the need of safety! Because how do we feel safe the most? When we are around other people and feel connected (connections that feel safe). Other people and you yourself can help someone meet the need for connection and safety.


You can also be acclimatized to not having a specific need met for so long and you don’t even know it! It’s an inner starvation you have become used to. When it comes down to doing inner child work, we go back into a memory where it is stuck and we meet the need of the inner child. When we do that, your inner child starts to instantly feel better, because you have given him or her the need that it wanted (for so long). This is still something that you want to do in your adult life.


Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need directly or you will do it in unconscious manipulative ways. You can practice this, it does take time to learn to feel and express what you need. There’s nothing shameful about having needs, it’s perfectly human. We actually get into relationship because we know it will get certain needs met. Whether we know this consciously or unconsciously. If we can’t find the people who want to meet our needs, then we have to find other people who want to meet our needs. It’s easier said than done, but truly there are soooo many people on the planet. It shouldn’t actually be hard. Also know that people like to be needed. They like to be used in a good way, because it makes people feel good. If someone asks for your help with something you like to help with, does that make you feel positive emotions?


Also, there’s nothing needy about having needs. So, it’s okay to let someone help you fill up your own cup and ask for what you need. You don’t have to do it alone, we are social species. But don’t let that be an excuse to be an energy vampire! You still need to fill up your own cup, that philosophy is still true. But I also belief we can’t truly fill up our cup all alone. We need each other as well.


So, my suggestion is to search online for a list of needs or make your own list of what you think you need. Go and brainstorm and see how fast meeting your needs will lead to a state of happiness!